Bill Gates in the Afterlife

Bill Gates died. He was sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room. He was met by St. Peter, who asked him if he wanted to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he'd like to see them before he decided. Bill said yes, and St. Peter snapped his fingers. They appeared on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming, and playing volleball. Just basically having a wonderful time. Good food, good music, good people. Bill turns to St. Peter and says, "Wow, Heaven is great!" St. Peter says, "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Want to see Heaven?" Mr. Gates nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet and serene. St. Peter asks Bill, "Well, which would you like?" Bill thinks for a minute, and says, "Well, if this is Heaven, then I'll take Hell." Instantly, he was plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of other tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up, and sees St. Peter in the waiting room. Bill calls out to him, and said, "Hey! What's going on? Where's the beach? The bikini-clad women? The party?"

St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, "That was just the demo."


Bill Gates's House in Heaven

An executive of a major computer company died and went to Heaven. While hanging around waiting to be processed, he noticed a very large, ultra-modern house with the initials "B.G." and a Microsoft logo emblazoned on the front. He was quite surprised, not having heard that Gates was dead (he wasn't; this happened before the previous joke!) and asked St. Peter "Hey, is that Bill Gates's house? He's not dead!" To which St. Peter replied, "Oh no, that's God's house, but sometimes he thinks he's Bill Gates."


Humor Page   Home